It's a strange thing, this wishing life had turned out differently. Call it regret, or hind-sight, but it brings up the age-old question associated with Groundhog Day (more the movie than the furry little shadow-watcher from Punxsutawney), and it goes like this: If you could go back and change something in your past, would you do it?
The question is especially on the minds of watchers of LOST, returning tonight for its long-anticipated final season! Will Jack's plan to explode the bomb (in the past) actually prevent their plane from crashing (in the future?) If so, will they avoid all the pain - and also the healing - that seems to occur on that mysterious island? Stay tuned!
But enough about Jack and Kate, how about you? Wouldn't you take the opportunity to right (or avoid altogether) a regretful wrong, or take back some nasty words that should never have been said? Wouldn't you have loved your friends and family better, been more careful and thoughtful, and "seized the day" or moment that is now gone forever? The quick and easy answer is, "Of course I would!"
The Darker Side
Of course there is a more sinister side to the question about changing the past, one that calls all our altruistic motives into question. That side goes like this: If you knew the past and could really go back to change it, wouldn't you make things tilt to your own advantage? Like weatherman Phil Connors (Bill Murray) in the 1993 Groundhog Day movie, would you try to make yourself richer (after all, you'd know the stock market and Super Bowl results ahead of time!), attempt to manipulate people into falling in love with you - in short, exploit your unhappy past situations so they now went nicely in your favor?
Of course there is a more sinister side to the question about changing the past, one that calls all our altruistic motives into question. That side goes like this: If you knew the past and could really go back to change it, wouldn't you make things tilt to your own advantage? Like weatherman Phil Connors (Bill Murray) in the 1993 Groundhog Day movie, would you try to make yourself richer (after all, you'd know the stock market and Super Bowl results ahead of time!), attempt to manipulate people into falling in love with you - in short, exploit your unhappy past situations so they now went nicely in your favor?
It's a fascinating question. Knowing human nature, the latter is more likely to be true. But stop and think about it. Maybe the answer about what to do shouldn't be so automatic! (LOST sure hasn't made it easy, and that's why we like it!) Ponder after all, all the lessons you've learned from your screw-ups, mistakes, and sins. Painful to be sure, but wasn't it the fact that you were brought to the very end of yourself in those moments that you began, by grace, to look up? (Think of the prodigal in the Pig-sty. Haven't we've all been there, trapped in the mud of our messes?). And haven't you learned to love better by failing miserably at it before? (Hopefully you'll say Yes!)
Now, if you agree that you have learned from those things, and become a more humble, loving person through them, wouldn't you also have to say the same about those things done to you, by others? (This one's a bit more dicey). In other words, couldn't you say that you have actually been changed somehow for the better as a result of wrongs committed against you? Is such a thing even possible?
We don't ever want to minimize painful abuse, or act as if we should go after it somehow in order to be better persons. Never should we invite the ugly ravages of sin in an effort to see grace, (Romans 6:1), although we should invite sinners to the table to taste it - as Jesus invites us. The two aren't exactly the same.
Redeemer of Broken Pasts
But maybe you haven't seen the positive results from your past yet - and in fact, you want to scream right now that I would even say such a thing. I understand, believe me I do. But I would like to suggest something about Someone else's past that might give you hope.
But maybe you haven't seen the positive results from your past yet - and in fact, you want to scream right now that I would even say such a thing. I understand, believe me I do. But I would like to suggest something about Someone else's past that might give you hope.
The question about the past takes on a whole new meaning when we study and examine the cross on which Jesus hung. Ask yourself, Was he wronged? In one sense, incredibly so! As the perfect Son of God and lover of men, he deserved none of the abuse he received (and yes, even sexual abuse was there too, as he hung naked before the eyes of his abusers). But in another sense, No! Because he had actually "become sin for us" (2 Cor. 5:21) and was dying in our place as a real criminal, he actually deserved everything he got. Its what made the transaction real - and effective.
Because Jesus did receive our wounds, and died our death, the world was saved. So the question becomes, Would you really want to change that about his abusive past? (Remember how the urge to have Jesus avoid the cross was especially strong in Peter... and Jesus rebuked him for thinking like Satan.)
The point is this: only Jesus can take the worst day of history (and it was - we killed God that day) and amazingly twist and shape it into the best day of history. Now here's more good news: He did it once, so that He can do the same for your worst days. Though you cannot fathom it, (and pray for faith to believe it), God especially targets your ugliest, most painful days to bring out the best. In so doing, He actually changes you. Cracks open the hardness and pride and makes you a more forgiving person. Dissolves the self-interest to make you (and those around you) more compassionate. Stretches you to be more in tune with the sufferings of Christ. And all of those are no small things.
And think about this: if God is perfectly wise, and also perfectly good, don't you think if it were possible to use any other way to change you and also bring good to others, he would? Don't you think he would have spared his Son that He so loves?
"And we know that in all things (yes, even our shameful pasts) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Understand that His purpose - in every sad and broken moment - is to do you good, and he's not ashamed (actually, He desires) to even use the hard parts of your past to do it. So open those hidden places up to him. Watch His gracious touch begin to work its healing way with you. And as you watch, don't forget to also notice the indelible nail scars, still on his hands - for your own name is engraved there too (Isaiah 49:16). It's His past alone that makes sense out of yours - and your present.
