The End of the World as We Know it: A Conversation with Olivia

We're especially excited to be joined in the counseling office today by Olivia Dunham, Special Agent of the FRINGE division (see her tonight at 9pm on FOX!)        

                                                                                                                

ST: Welcome Olivia, thanks for taking time out from the strange and wonderful world (or  worlds!) of FRINGE to join us. And may I say before we begin, that my wife loves you?

 

OD:  Awww, that’s very kind. Tell her I love her too!

ST: I definitely will. Ok, so for those who may not know, you’re actually an FBI agent in a special “Fringe” division, solving X-Files-like cases every week – and tackling a host of cultural issues while you’re at it. And on top of that, you have a doppelganger (“Bolivia”) in a parallel world – one where the World Trade Centers are still standing, and “Dogs” is playing on Broadway!

  

OD: (laughs) It's been fun to find out that JFK was never shot, and the "Dogs" thing really cracked me up. But in our world, it’s pretty clear that Peter (Bishop) and I aren’t Mulder and Scully. Mulder was just never wrong, you know? And Scully, bless her soul, was almost always missing the mark!

ST: Why do you suppose that was?

OD: I think because she consistently approached things from a purely scientific standpoint – even though it never turned out as she imagined - and life simply can’t be reduced to things we can measure or quantify. For example, do we really understand how the brain works? Or where laughter comes from? So for me, while I’m out trying to help save the world, the question of “Who am I, really – on the inside?” is very present.

  

ST: And this “alternate you” in the parallel universe … is it fair to say that she gives you the opportunity to see yourself as you might have been, or could be?

    

OD: Yes, it’s very weird! Bolivia is certainly less uptight than I am (laughs), but it’s not like she’s my “evil twin”  - it’s not that clean cut, or black and white. She wants love, like all of us. I guess that became clear …

ST: Yes, I’m sorry. But you learned that Peter was really thinking of you all along.

OD: (Smiles) Trust issues, you know?

ST: Well, tell us more about your story (we counselors like to ask, you know!) What were the significant, formative events from your own past?

OD: Are you ready for this? As a little girl (they called me “Olive”), I endured an abusive step-father, and then was used by scientist Walter Bishop and his notorious partner William Bell in their “cortexiphan” experiments. Walter’s need, his controlling passion to open a door to the “other side,” the parallel universe was …

ST: … after his real son Peter died and he was grief-stricken, right?

OD: … Yes, he desperately believed he could find another “Peter” over there to fill the hole in his life, and somehow “cheat death”  - which in a way, he did.

ST: Grief is a powerful thing, isn’t it? And death is more than just a "part of life." There's a reason we call it an "enemy"...it's not the way it was supposed to be.

  

OD: Yes, I think it's more powerful than we know. It sneaks up on us. And Walter believed that using my “psychokinetic ability,” coupled with my feelings of abandonment and this cortexiphan, was the key to finding objects in this parallel world ...

ST: Amazing the lengths we will go ... I'm reminded of that episode awhile back called "Marionette." That Dr. Frankenstein guy was creepy ... but he wanted to master death. 

OD: Yes! So Walter eventually did succeed in going over there and stealing that Peter away from his rightful father (whom we affectionately call “Walternate”). Little did he know that this would start a war between the universes – a kind of cosmic jihad!

     

ST: Wow, that’s a lot! First let me say that I’m truly sorry for all that what was done to you. Abuse for a child is so very, very difficult. You were vulnerable and without protection, and because it came from someone close to you  – as it so often does for children – a family member, neighbor, or even someone at church - the feeling of betrayal is multiplied, isn’t it?

OD: It is … sorry, I told myself I wouldn’t cry.

ST: Well let it go if you’d like – your tears are a gift.

OD: Thanks.

ST: I’m reminded of how the ancient king David cried: “Even my close friend, in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.” (Psalm 49:1) He knew that soul pain, but it turns out the prophecy was also meant for someone else…

OD: Hmmm. Did it involve a doomsday device?

  

ST: (laughs) Actually, just the opposite. Think of what Peter Bishop was willing to do, except in a much deeper sense …

OD: You mean, go to “the machine?”

ST: Yes. Remember when Peter said to you,

“Whatever our fate is, I’m right at the center…I understand what the machine does … I’ve torn holes in both the universes, and they lead here…a bridge, so that we can begin to work together to fix our worlds …”?

 

OD: Of course, I’ll never forget it. Unless Peter never really existed...but that makes no sense!

ST: But what if someone has torn a hole in our universe - in order to enter into our pain and our deepest shame (yours and mine), and to fix our world - one heart at a time?

OD: Well, that would be good news! I’ve tried to carry the weight of the world - or I guess I should say, two worlds - on my shoulders for a long time. It gets unbearable.

ST: It does! If it helps, the cross is Jesus' “machine,” where He sets in motion his redemption process of undeserved grace, to touch the whole universe ... like Lewis talked about the Stone Table in Narnia:

"When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and death itself would start working backwards..."

OD: I love that story ...

ST: Me too ... and the prophecy also says that because of what happened at the cross, abuse doesn’t have to have the final word in any of our lives. You see, you can have a greater identity than “abuse victim,” because He desires to give you a new name (see Rev. 2:17) ... a new identity that's even better than the parallel universe.

OD: As Spock would say, “fascinating!”

ST: (laughs) Right, I forgot you channeled “Spock”  – or William Bell, didn’t you!

OD: His soul inhabited me for a time, yes. It was a hoot. But thank-you for explaining that about Jesus…it seems much better to be inhabited by His Spirit.

ST: Absolutely... what are you thinking?

OD: About Walter Bishop. He and I seem to be linked in that way - so often operating out of guilt, you know? Like what he prayed in that chapel …

"God, I know my crimes are unforgivable. Punish me, do what you want to me. I beg you, spare our world," 

as he knelt crying before a cross. But then eventually he does come to the place where he’s willing to give up his son to save the world. Even for a guy with half his brain missing, his heart seemed to end up in the right place!

ST: (laughs) I think so. Maybe all the red licorice and strawberry milkshakes have something to do with it.

OD: Well, I'd like to explore this more ... but Broyles is calling.

ST: Ok, cool. One final question: who do you like in the World Series this year – provided the universe survives?

OD: Well, Bolivia likes the Phillies in five. But me, I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing.

ST: (laughs) Thank-you so much Olivia for this time. Like the Observers (are they angels with hats, or what?), we look forward to seeing this all unfold!

OD: No clue what they are. And I’m happy to say the pleasure was all mine! 

Final Note: Facing tragic events in our past can seem a pointless process ... after all, isn't it behind us? But often, we don't take stock of the ways we learned to cope as a result, and the harm we can perpetuate even now (much of which can be worse than the initial abuse). 

The good news is that in Christ, we have new resources to actually face the harm done to us – to call evil what it is – and to refuse to cover it over any longer with busyness or distractions in order to feel better. Then when we are ready to grieve it, and give voice to our pain, we’re ready to embrace our new name...but it’s a process. We’ll still be marked by it, but the end goal is even greater than "recovery." Jesus wants to heal us so we can learn to "comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received (2 Cor. 1:4)." And we can make use of the resources of his family to experience this love, because healing is meant to be a “community project.” You don’t have to go it alone. 

If You Love Someone...

One of the wonderful, unexpected side-effects to love is that you're forced, albeit often kicking and screaming, to confront your own selfishness. Like the Polaroid photo that's shaken while developing (sounds like a song?), expect to have your heart rocked before your love (or lack of it) comes into focus.

It's the relational secret we'd like most to avoid; eHarmony probably won't detect it. Yet its roots are as old as the garden, and just as snakey. What is it? We love to get our own way.

Take marriage, for example - a common counseling scenario. The once-blissful couple has, to use an apt metaphor, let their precious garden fill with weeds, and at some point one or both makes the decision not to get up off the couch (or move from the computer, or say "no" to the million other available distractions and pursuits) and aggressively pull them up. Soon after, because weeds grow like...well, weeds, they're jolted into action by an icy wind; a chilly interaction, a hard stare, or a bitter remark makes one look out the window and notice that the garden is nearly gone.

Ugh ... how quickly is everything that makes love so good and nourishing easily swallowed up by a selfish green weed-monster called "a divided heart." Before you know it you'll be using the "two ships passing in the night" cliché as well. 

 

The Cost

So what to do? How do you love when it gets really hard to engage another and you want to say "enough!" The only way I know that you can possibly do this is to grasp the profound meaning of what love really is; that in essence, as Tim Keller notes in King's Cross, "all life-changing love [the kind that really transforms you] is substitutionary sacrifice." 

Do you struggle with the cross of Christ? Has it been your idea - maybe somewhere in the back of your mind - that the whole story-line involving the cross on which Jesus died is just too much like a blood sacrifice to appease an irritable, blood-thirsty, and capricious god - the kind you might have heard of in primitive religions or read about in the works of Homer? If so, take a look at the cross from a new angle - the angle of relationship as we have been thinking about. Keller notes,

"Think about it. If you love a person whose life is all put together and has no major needs, it costs you nothing. It's delightful. There are probably four or five people like that where you live. You ought to find them and become their friend. But if you ever try to love someone who has needs, someone who is in trouble or who is persecuted or emotionally wounded, it's going to cost you. You can't love them without taking a hit yourself. A transfer of some kind is required, so that somehow their troubles, their problems, transfer to you.

There are a lot of wounded people out there. They are emotionally sinking, they're hurting, and they desperately need to be loved ... The only way they're going to start filling up emotionally is if somebody loves them, and the only way to love them is to let yourself be emotionally drained. Some of your fullness is going to have to go into them, and you have to empty out to some degree. If you hold onto your emotional comfort and simply avoid those people, they will sink. The only way to love them is through substitutionary sacrifice."

Do you see how there is always a cost to the lover? It will inevitably cost you to love someone well, to pour into a spouse, child, hurting friend, or the needy outcast on the street. (Jesus was saying exactly this when he crossed all kinds of ethnic and social boundaries with his "Good Samaritan" parable, see Luke 10:25-37).

This may sound overwhelming, even impossible, and it is - on your own. But when you begin to see this in light of your own selfish heart, you're just starting to tap into the profound power of the cross - that it cost God Himself - and then it becomes especially good news for you:

"God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:8)

You see for those of us addicted to our own way, this comes as especially good news. For if God loved the way we so often do - when people seem deserving enough - we'd all be lost. But He doesn't, thankfully, and so the cross stands forever as the greatest, one-sided gift ever given. Only as you internalize this truth and faith springs up again, are you energized to love, and keep loving when it hurts.  

When the Lily Dies

I love how Keller fleshes this out further, using the character of Lily Potter:

"...When the Voldemort-possessed villain tries to lay hands on Harry, he experiences agonizing pain, and so he is thwarted. Harry later goes to Dumbledore, his mentor, and asks, "Why couldn't he touch me?" Dumbledore replies that "Your mother died to save you ... love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign ... [but] to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever."

   

Are you willing to see God as a "mother" like this? (See Isa. 66:13, Matt. 23:37) The beauty of submitting yourself to be loved like this by Jesus, to receive life and protection from his death, is that you will begin to change - for love always changes things. Even more wonderful is the fact that it comes to the undeserved, as the Romans verse above shows us. So as selfishness tries to rear its ugly head today, let the words of an old hymn also fill your mind...

When I survey the wondrous cross,

On which the Prince of glory died...

my richest gain, I count but loss,

and pour contempt on all my pride.

As you grasp this, again and again, your love will become more like Jesus, your Rescuer; sacrificial, humble, and less about self (your main problem). You will begin to see the world with new eyes. And one day, when you look out your window, you will even see beautiful fruit growing on the vine.